Yesterday was a rough day. It was my birthday but my mother was having a lot of issues, so G and I spent most of the day trying to stabilize her and canceling our trip to Florida to see my other brother, D and his family.
Today G was supposed to drive himself to the airport but mom woke up and wanted to take him so I drove him to the airport and we had lunch. My tuna melt was far too greasy and upset my tummy a bit. Then mom and I drove back to my orthopedic appointment for my thumb. The doctor said that since it wasn't hurting or triggering today that he would suggest giving it more time to heal or if I couldn't live with it, getting the surgery. I told him that overall it had been much better but some days it ached real bad or I'd get a sharp pain if I pressed something with it. He said again that if I could live with that, it wouldn't be a problem, but if I couldn't to book the surgery. Kind of a let down but I'll have to wait and see if it's going to be bearable or not. Then decide about the surgery.
Mom was feeling really bad and slept most of the trip. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to get her upstairs to her room or not, but she made it and now she's sleeping with some valium.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
Lazy Sunday
Mom did a bit better today. I had Dad give her a call so that seemed to calm her down a bit. Plus I've been giving her a steady dose of oxycodone every 3 hours to keep the pain from getting too bad. She didn't really want it but it did help. Tomorrow I'll try every 4 hours. She also took regular doses of the valium which really calmed her down a lot so we'll have to keep that up.
Tomorrow I have a few errands to run and phone calls to make. If it's nice outside then G and I will need to get some yard work done.
That's about all that happened, I got a good 5 hour straight nap finally. I'm still worried about AR, I spoke to her for about 2 minutes online again today. She told me that she and her boyfriend had a really bad 3 hour fight about everything then went to his family BBQ for the 4th of July. I really need to talk to her and find out what's going on.
Tomorrow I have a few errands to run and phone calls to make. If it's nice outside then G and I will need to get some yard work done.
That's about all that happened, I got a good 5 hour straight nap finally. I'm still worried about AR, I spoke to her for about 2 minutes online again today. She told me that she and her boyfriend had a really bad 3 hour fight about everything then went to his family BBQ for the 4th of July. I really need to talk to her and find out what's going on.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
4th of July
Happy 4th of July! Most of today wasn't too bad, and we did hear fireworks which we think were lit at the national park but didn't see any. Though I'm too tired to really be excited about it. I had a 2, then 4 hour nap on Friday, then a 1 then 4 hour nap on Saturday.
I stayed up with Mom again last night. She actually slept well but when she woke up at 6am she tried to walk to the bathroom by herself and got weak and called for help. She wasn't in pain or nauseous though so I thought today might be ok for her. Then she tried to get up again at 9 but by the time she called me for help her legs were already giving out and I barely got to her before she fell. I grabbed her arms and tried to move her towards the chair we put in the hallway so she could rest but she didn't even make a step before she fell. She busted her knee pretty good, it's all scraped up.
I spent the early morning cleaning the kitchen and upstairs bathroom then decided to go get some coffee from the grocery store before it closed. There wasn't much of a selection so I picked up some regular columbian dark roast along with some chili powder, chocolate flavored non-dairy creamer and a cinnamon grinder. My brother, G, asked me to get him a hazelnut coffee. There was a farmer's market being held at the middle school in town with big signs for the apple orchard that's near the house but I didn't check it out. I picked up some lunch at the diner and went back to the house.
The ditches in the road and at the end of the driveway are much wider than they were last time I went out. Any further and the jeep may not make it across either. The driveway is in really good condition still so I'm pleased with that at least. I would have gone out to do some yard work and maybe fill the ditches in a bit but it kept pouring rain off an on all day. Driving back from town it was coming down in sheets of water and then stopped and got sunny. I'll take more pictures of the ditches and try to see if the town maintenance crew can fix it soon.
I had a long talk with my friend, R, who's leaving to go take care of her grandfather for maybe a year in Guam on Monday. We had a good long talk, which isn't hard to do with her because she can talk for hours but we actually discussed a lot of things. Including our other friend, AR, who told me today that she'd found messages on her boyfriends ps3 account from some girl he talks to while she's at work all day or sleeping at night, even telling the girl that he will talk to her later because AR was home and awake. Very sleazy, especially since he freaks out about checking who she's talking to, even if it's me he's sometimes picked up the phone to make sure. She didn't mention any messages about cheating but she said he lied to her about the girl and the messages were more caring and supportive than he's ever been with her.
I've always thought he was an asshole, I never liked him for her. She knows that but I respect that it's her choice to be with him. AR was going to confront him about the messages but since her phone and internet have been cut off for the last 3 weeks (because he hasn't worked in almost a year) I don't know what happened. I suggested that she try to figure out what she wants from him before she talks to him, so that she can stick to it despite any attempts from him to argue, lie or yell about it. Whether she decided to ask him to delete his ps3 account, or to leave the apartment, I don't know. I only suggested that she be sure of what she wants and not let him talk her down. She's been fed up with him for a long time now so I'm hoping this gets him out of her life so she can focus on herself and her daughter. I'm worried about her tonight :(
Mom has had a rough night despite her relatively good night last night and today. She started crying in pain and threw up. Then started calling G "daddy" and calling out for her mom. Both of her parents are dead and this is the same thing she did after her anuerism back in 2001. She's also been asking us to kill her, or threatening to take all of her pills. I know she's in pain and I don't think she really means it but either way she's killing herself by not following the doctor's instructions. It's a fight to get her to eat anything, to take all of her pills and eye drops or even to drink something other than diet coke all day. I'm pretty sure her stomach is a wreck right now from all the medicine she takes, lack of food and acids from the diet coke. Hell diet coke makes my stomach burn if I have more than a couple.
I talked to G for awhile tonight about what will happen when I find a job and leave here. He said that mom is really tired of the tenant in Virginia, that he hasn't responded about her demand that he get training from the AC/Heating maintenance company about the proper operation and cleaning of it. She just had to pay a huge fee and repair cost because he hadn't been cleaning the filter every month since he moved in to the house in March. He refused to let G show him how to do it when he came to go over the house and get the keys. He has until July 30th to show proof that he's completed the training. If he doesn't, then he will have to move out by July 31st because my mother notified him on June 30th that she wants him out of the house if he doesn't. I told G that I couldn't really plan for that to happen because he may do the training and if I get a job offer that I feel is decent I will be taking it.
I suggested to him that we find a nurse aide or some other type of health aide because it's been crazy dealing with the house and mom even with both of us here and that he deserves to have a break sometimes. He kind of resisted the idea saying that if he was here anyway then he doesn't mind doing it. I brought up the fact that he can't even mow the lawn when mom is bad, much less do grocery shopping or any other chore. He's also trying to get into college in the fall to get a teaching license and would be away for most of the day for that. I suggested that even if he's home, it would be good for him to be able to get things done and trust that mom is taken care of, and also to get to know the aide and get them aquainted with mom's routines before he's gone for school all day. It would also be good for mom to not have to rely soley on G for everything. At times she feels really guilty and depressed about her kids having to carry her or clean up after her. So really it would be good for both of them to get some space sometimes.
It's really up to G and Dad though. G will be the one dealing with mom and the aide and dad would be the one paying for it. I just think it's the best option so I hope they really consider it. We still don't know if mom will be up for traveling on Thursday.
While I was writing this I heard her footsteps and went to go see what she was doing. She was halfway down the stairs to get a soda. :( Given how bad she's been walking today that could have been a trip to the emergency room or worse. She blames me for "letting" her fall earlier today. She didn't tell me that but told G. So she refused my help back to her room. Things like that really piss me off but her brain is broken from the strokes, on top of her original stubborn personality and the pain and medications now, I can't really hold it against her.
I stayed up with Mom again last night. She actually slept well but when she woke up at 6am she tried to walk to the bathroom by herself and got weak and called for help. She wasn't in pain or nauseous though so I thought today might be ok for her. Then she tried to get up again at 9 but by the time she called me for help her legs were already giving out and I barely got to her before she fell. I grabbed her arms and tried to move her towards the chair we put in the hallway so she could rest but she didn't even make a step before she fell. She busted her knee pretty good, it's all scraped up.
I spent the early morning cleaning the kitchen and upstairs bathroom then decided to go get some coffee from the grocery store before it closed. There wasn't much of a selection so I picked up some regular columbian dark roast along with some chili powder, chocolate flavored non-dairy creamer and a cinnamon grinder. My brother, G, asked me to get him a hazelnut coffee. There was a farmer's market being held at the middle school in town with big signs for the apple orchard that's near the house but I didn't check it out. I picked up some lunch at the diner and went back to the house.
The ditches in the road and at the end of the driveway are much wider than they were last time I went out. Any further and the jeep may not make it across either. The driveway is in really good condition still so I'm pleased with that at least. I would have gone out to do some yard work and maybe fill the ditches in a bit but it kept pouring rain off an on all day. Driving back from town it was coming down in sheets of water and then stopped and got sunny. I'll take more pictures of the ditches and try to see if the town maintenance crew can fix it soon.
I had a long talk with my friend, R, who's leaving to go take care of her grandfather for maybe a year in Guam on Monday. We had a good long talk, which isn't hard to do with her because she can talk for hours but we actually discussed a lot of things. Including our other friend, AR, who told me today that she'd found messages on her boyfriends ps3 account from some girl he talks to while she's at work all day or sleeping at night, even telling the girl that he will talk to her later because AR was home and awake. Very sleazy, especially since he freaks out about checking who she's talking to, even if it's me he's sometimes picked up the phone to make sure. She didn't mention any messages about cheating but she said he lied to her about the girl and the messages were more caring and supportive than he's ever been with her.
I've always thought he was an asshole, I never liked him for her. She knows that but I respect that it's her choice to be with him. AR was going to confront him about the messages but since her phone and internet have been cut off for the last 3 weeks (because he hasn't worked in almost a year) I don't know what happened. I suggested that she try to figure out what she wants from him before she talks to him, so that she can stick to it despite any attempts from him to argue, lie or yell about it. Whether she decided to ask him to delete his ps3 account, or to leave the apartment, I don't know. I only suggested that she be sure of what she wants and not let him talk her down. She's been fed up with him for a long time now so I'm hoping this gets him out of her life so she can focus on herself and her daughter. I'm worried about her tonight :(
Mom has had a rough night despite her relatively good night last night and today. She started crying in pain and threw up. Then started calling G "daddy" and calling out for her mom. Both of her parents are dead and this is the same thing she did after her anuerism back in 2001. She's also been asking us to kill her, or threatening to take all of her pills. I know she's in pain and I don't think she really means it but either way she's killing herself by not following the doctor's instructions. It's a fight to get her to eat anything, to take all of her pills and eye drops or even to drink something other than diet coke all day. I'm pretty sure her stomach is a wreck right now from all the medicine she takes, lack of food and acids from the diet coke. Hell diet coke makes my stomach burn if I have more than a couple.
I talked to G for awhile tonight about what will happen when I find a job and leave here. He said that mom is really tired of the tenant in Virginia, that he hasn't responded about her demand that he get training from the AC/Heating maintenance company about the proper operation and cleaning of it. She just had to pay a huge fee and repair cost because he hadn't been cleaning the filter every month since he moved in to the house in March. He refused to let G show him how to do it when he came to go over the house and get the keys. He has until July 30th to show proof that he's completed the training. If he doesn't, then he will have to move out by July 31st because my mother notified him on June 30th that she wants him out of the house if he doesn't. I told G that I couldn't really plan for that to happen because he may do the training and if I get a job offer that I feel is decent I will be taking it.
I suggested to him that we find a nurse aide or some other type of health aide because it's been crazy dealing with the house and mom even with both of us here and that he deserves to have a break sometimes. He kind of resisted the idea saying that if he was here anyway then he doesn't mind doing it. I brought up the fact that he can't even mow the lawn when mom is bad, much less do grocery shopping or any other chore. He's also trying to get into college in the fall to get a teaching license and would be away for most of the day for that. I suggested that even if he's home, it would be good for him to be able to get things done and trust that mom is taken care of, and also to get to know the aide and get them aquainted with mom's routines before he's gone for school all day. It would also be good for mom to not have to rely soley on G for everything. At times she feels really guilty and depressed about her kids having to carry her or clean up after her. So really it would be good for both of them to get some space sometimes.
It's really up to G and Dad though. G will be the one dealing with mom and the aide and dad would be the one paying for it. I just think it's the best option so I hope they really consider it. We still don't know if mom will be up for traveling on Thursday.
While I was writing this I heard her footsteps and went to go see what she was doing. She was halfway down the stairs to get a soda. :( Given how bad she's been walking today that could have been a trip to the emergency room or worse. She blames me for "letting" her fall earlier today. She didn't tell me that but told G. So she refused my help back to her room. Things like that really piss me off but her brain is broken from the strokes, on top of her original stubborn personality and the pain and medications now, I can't really hold it against her.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Sleepy Post
Today was a really rough day. Mom was up every few hours last night in pain or nauseous. I didn't get any sleep until 9am but then had to get up at 11am to watch over her while my brother ran down to the pharmacy to get some medicine for her. I passed out again at 3pm and slept a few hours till 7 then made dinner. My brother and I managed to spend a few minutes cleaning out the gutters and during dinner watched 2 episodes of So You Think You Can Dance. Mom's just been in so much pain and throwing up. I'm so exhausted.
If she doesn't get better soon, both my brother and I think we should skip the trip to Florida.
If she doesn't get better soon, both my brother and I think we should skip the trip to Florida.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Thumby Weather
Tuesday was my brother's birthday. Mom wasn't feeling well all day so we stayed home instead of going out to Longhorn Steakhouse like he wanted. I drove down to the grocery store and picked up some good hamburger, a small birthday cake and stuff and made him hamburgers. They turned out really well. Everyone deserves a good birthday.
That night I stayed up to keep an eye on Mom. She was sleeping in the recliner in the living room and my brother slept on the couch. I heard her throwing up so I ran down to help her. Then a little while later she decided to move up to her room because she's afraid of lightning and there was a massive thunderstorm. The living room has huge windows and doors that lead out to the porch. I personally thought it was gorgeous.
A few hours later my brother ran upstairs and said mom had been calling for help but I seriously didn't hear her. I don't have very good hearing with one ear anyway but I usually manage. I had a small fan pointed at me and it was hard even hearing people on the phone with it so close. So I moved the fan even though it's so hot in this room all the time. I checked on her a few times and she seemed to sleep well the rest of the night.
She had a doctor's appointment at 8am so we had to leave the house at 6:30am. She wasn't feeling well at all. The doctor said that a blood vessel burst, either from all her throwing up or just from the general diabetic retinopathy. He said that was what was causing all her pain and that he couldn't really see how the surgery was healing through all the blood. She had an appointment last week though and it was clearer then so he still felt good that it was healing well. He changed all her medications and eye drops again and gave her more oxycodone for the pain. Her next appointment is on the 6th and we're hoping she'll be well enough to fly to Florida on the 9th to see my other brother and his family for almost 2 weeks.
She's always in pain, she barely eats, she's often abrasive. It's been tough dealing with her. When I made dinner tonight, she was sleeping in her room. Since she hasn't eaten a real meal in almost 2 weeks and had been naseous all day I assumed she wouldn't want any so I didn't wake her. She then started yelling that we hadn't invited her to eat and that she would just eat an ice cream sandwich because no one cared to feed her. I had just made it, it was too hot to eat still, my brother offered to get her some but she said no. Yet she still complained for another hour.
Next Tuesday, the 7th is my 30th birthday. Which kinda sucks because I'd been dreaming of having a really fun party for once, ever since I planned my husband's 30th 2 years ago. I haven't had a big birthday party since I was really little. I always thought I'd be dead by 30, so I guess anything is better than that :) My family has been planning a party for me on the 11th at my brother's place, but while I'm sure it will be nice, it's not the same.
On Wednesday I take my brother to the airport at noon. He's flying to Texas to pick up our nephew from visiting his mother's family. Then they're flying to Florida to meet up with all of us. After I drop him off I have to rush back north almost 2 hours to get to my Orthopedic appointment for my thumb. It's my last shot (figuratively and literally) to avoid surgery on it. The first shot helped a LOT, but I still get shooting pain when I press something like the sleep button on the iphone or gps or turn a screwdriver. Sometimes for no reason at all it will just ache all the way to my elbow. I hope it works, luckily I can cross my fingers :p The shot is only $50 but the surgery will be expensive given that I have no health care or job.
I received my draft copies on Monday of my resume and cover letter from the Monster.com writing service. I think it looks pretty good. Certainly much better then I could have ever come up with. I've got to write them back with a few changes I think, then I'll start posting it everywhere and use the job finding company that my husband also got me for my birthday present. Crossing more fingers that they can find me something good, not just bareable.
We've been having so many strong thunderstorms here lately that the internet has been off for long periods of time. Even the cable went out a few times and the power shut off several times but only for seconds. The storms also carved out ditches in the dirt road up to the house and a giant crack between the driveway and the road. If they don't come fix it soon, I may have to go try to fill it in some. It's almost hard to get the jeep across the ditches, but my brother's car is barely able to make it.
Lastly I just want to say Happy Canada Day to all my (soon-to-be) fellow Canadians!
That night I stayed up to keep an eye on Mom. She was sleeping in the recliner in the living room and my brother slept on the couch. I heard her throwing up so I ran down to help her. Then a little while later she decided to move up to her room because she's afraid of lightning and there was a massive thunderstorm. The living room has huge windows and doors that lead out to the porch. I personally thought it was gorgeous.
A few hours later my brother ran upstairs and said mom had been calling for help but I seriously didn't hear her. I don't have very good hearing with one ear anyway but I usually manage. I had a small fan pointed at me and it was hard even hearing people on the phone with it so close. So I moved the fan even though it's so hot in this room all the time. I checked on her a few times and she seemed to sleep well the rest of the night.
She had a doctor's appointment at 8am so we had to leave the house at 6:30am. She wasn't feeling well at all. The doctor said that a blood vessel burst, either from all her throwing up or just from the general diabetic retinopathy. He said that was what was causing all her pain and that he couldn't really see how the surgery was healing through all the blood. She had an appointment last week though and it was clearer then so he still felt good that it was healing well. He changed all her medications and eye drops again and gave her more oxycodone for the pain. Her next appointment is on the 6th and we're hoping she'll be well enough to fly to Florida on the 9th to see my other brother and his family for almost 2 weeks.
She's always in pain, she barely eats, she's often abrasive. It's been tough dealing with her. When I made dinner tonight, she was sleeping in her room. Since she hasn't eaten a real meal in almost 2 weeks and had been naseous all day I assumed she wouldn't want any so I didn't wake her. She then started yelling that we hadn't invited her to eat and that she would just eat an ice cream sandwich because no one cared to feed her. I had just made it, it was too hot to eat still, my brother offered to get her some but she said no. Yet she still complained for another hour.
Next Tuesday, the 7th is my 30th birthday. Which kinda sucks because I'd been dreaming of having a really fun party for once, ever since I planned my husband's 30th 2 years ago. I haven't had a big birthday party since I was really little. I always thought I'd be dead by 30, so I guess anything is better than that :) My family has been planning a party for me on the 11th at my brother's place, but while I'm sure it will be nice, it's not the same.
On Wednesday I take my brother to the airport at noon. He's flying to Texas to pick up our nephew from visiting his mother's family. Then they're flying to Florida to meet up with all of us. After I drop him off I have to rush back north almost 2 hours to get to my Orthopedic appointment for my thumb. It's my last shot (figuratively and literally) to avoid surgery on it. The first shot helped a LOT, but I still get shooting pain when I press something like the sleep button on the iphone or gps or turn a screwdriver. Sometimes for no reason at all it will just ache all the way to my elbow. I hope it works, luckily I can cross my fingers :p The shot is only $50 but the surgery will be expensive given that I have no health care or job.
I received my draft copies on Monday of my resume and cover letter from the Monster.com writing service. I think it looks pretty good. Certainly much better then I could have ever come up with. I've got to write them back with a few changes I think, then I'll start posting it everywhere and use the job finding company that my husband also got me for my birthday present. Crossing more fingers that they can find me something good, not just bareable.
We've been having so many strong thunderstorms here lately that the internet has been off for long periods of time. Even the cable went out a few times and the power shut off several times but only for seconds. The storms also carved out ditches in the dirt road up to the house and a giant crack between the driveway and the road. If they don't come fix it soon, I may have to go try to fill it in some. It's almost hard to get the jeep across the ditches, but my brother's car is barely able to make it.
Lastly I just want to say Happy Canada Day to all my (soon-to-be) fellow Canadians!
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